Memorable Quotes.

[Mark Skarr]

Originally Posted by SolemnGolem

And spend ten minutes unable to decide whether they wanted to go through the door or stay on the same side.

Originally Posted by ericthered

Or take a nap on the threshold.

And then take a nap on the threshold when they don't make up their mind.

[ericthered]

Great Player dialogue from last night, in a Bronze Age Jungle Horror setting:



Arrogant Warrior: "Do I sound like a self-important maniac?"

Sagely Uncle: "Are you the headstrong dolt who ran headfirst into the forbidden ruins?"
Arrogant Warrior: "I didn't run in, I snuck in"
Sagely Uncle: "Are you the headstrong dolt who snuck headfirst into the forbidden ruins?"

Sagely Uncle: "If you can find the exact shapeshifter who stole our records 150 years ago and get them back, go ahead and do that. Wait, don't actually do that."

Sagely Uncle: "I'm going to wack him on the head again"

[ChaosCoyote]

Kay: “He looks like a mage. Do you want to ask him any questions?”
GM: “I’m not a mage, I’m Merlin!”
Kay: “He looks like a Merlin, do you want to ask him any questions?”

[SolemnGolem]

The actual dialogue went by too fast to record it accurately, but one PC in the tavern asked an NPC (it was their first meeting) whether the NPC valued these gems.

PC (flourish): Don't you want these? They have such value!

NPC (sourly): Launches into a two minute unprompted tirade hitting on all of the following points:

• The basis of trade is need, and in its purest form, a person might seek to trade two bushels of wheat for three pouches of fish.
• Inefficiencies in the market mean that spoilable items, such as wheat or fish, steadily lose value if they cannot find somebody who a) can sell you what you need, and b) actively desire what you have. This is termed the Coincidence of Wants.
• In search of greater fungibility, the ancients settled upon arbitrary materials such as gold, primarily because the rich and powerful (i.e. those with the most STUFF to trade) desired them.
• Said desire is mostly psychological in nature, or coincidental with utility. Take for example gold, which is: 1) abundant in the ground ore, 2) easily isolated once found through heat treatment, 3) easily shaped into decorative designs to please the arbitrary wants of the nobility, and 4) unreactive, so it won't turn into something less desirable over time.
• Gems don't even meet all of those tests, but ultimately any talk of intrinsic value is misguided, just like putting an elfmaid amber maker on gemcutter's apprenticeship in this wretched town of dwarven rock-bashers whose sole desirable skill is the brewing of copious quantities of strong ale to render said elfmaid insensible to the hell in which she finds herself.

PC: ... I believe this fulfills my Weirdness Magnet quota for the day, no?

[Luke Bunyip]

That... that was worthy of the likes of Dennis and his anarcho-syndicalist peasant comrades.

[seaweedbrain]

It's from the upcoming Falcon And Winter soldier show on D+ but it's still gold : "A sorcerer is a wizard without a hat."

[Dr. Beckenstein]

- Gurps Infinite Worlds:
The fearless agents of the patrol have located the hide-out of the master villain and try to sneak into it.
GM: "Okay, roll for stealth."
Player 1: "Damn, critical failure."
GM: "Uh, by accident, you switch on the flash light of your smart-phone."
Player 2: "This is not the right moment for a selfie."

---------------------------------

[Mark Skarr]

GM: “You spend the day with Cid teaching you how to swim. Which, mostly consists of him shouting ‘no, keep your head above water.’”

--

Ruby: “It’s a GPS, but the G stands for Gummi.”

--

GM: “The ship flies through what you don’t understand as Gummispace.”

--

GM: “You, on the beach, all start hearing drums.”
Ruby: “Oh! What did Kay do now!?”

--

GM: “Ruby, you see Kay burst from the jungle.”
Kay: “Jacques! Get the plane ready!”
Ruby: “What did you do?!”
Kay: “Nothing! I took a drink from a stream!”
Ruby: “Was there a sign that said ‘do not drink from this stream?’”
Kay: “I didn’t see one!”

--

GM: “You manage to Jedi all of the ice shards out of the air.”
Kay: “YAY! Does that count as a reason I should get cool ninja powers?”
Ruby: “Did I notice?”
GM: “Roll Perception.”
Ruby: “Uh, 13. Which is my Per.”
GM: “No, you’re more focused on the Heartless Savages in front of you.”
Kay: “I knew you were going to say that.”

--

Kay: “I don’t wanna leave these guys a plastic bottle.”
Karyl: “He’s got a nuclear-powered submarine—I don’t think plastic is an issue.”

--

GM: “There are ten-ticles.”
Ruby: “Yeah, yeah.”
Kay: “Ugh. I can count.”

--

GM: “It really wanted to send more tentacles against Karyl—it wants her to stop with the brain freeze.”

--

GM: “You hear Kay yell ‘yay! GLUB!’”

[SolemnGolem]

GM: "Your character has Social Stigma - Half Breed meaning you get a minus one to either of your birth races. But you also have Cultural Adaptability meaning you can ignore up to minus three in penalties for some really weird monster races."

Player: "In other words, I'd have a better chance of negotiating with Cthulhu than I do with my own mother. Got it."

[ericthered]

"This Squirrel probably eats souls. We should go away"