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Old 01-06-2019, 09:31 AM   #1431
Icelander
 
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Discussing whether to try to flee the scene and cover up evidence, or cooperate with the police, relying on the fact that they didn't actually do anything all that bad, mostly just hit someone who was attacking them with a knife and, it also looks like they rescued a kidnap victim. Or, actually, she kind of rescued herself, they just lent her some clothes and performed an emergency trachectomy on one of her kidnappers.

PC1 (an off-duty sheriff's deputy): "Do we have any reason to be evasive or hide anything from the detectives outside?"
PC2 (technicallly also has a badge and has recently graduated from a police academy, but isn't a real cop): "Well, you were breaking and entering while waving a large knife and a salt shaker. Also, I'm fairly certain that anything found in here will be ruled inadmissable because you didn't have a warrant or any legitimate reason to break down the door."
PC1: "OK, do we have any reason to lie about anything other than what the cops outside are going to lie about anyway in the official report, i.e. the scream we obviously all heard before entering due to exigent circumstances?"
PC2: "No, that about covers it. I assume we wave our badges and say the name of our illustrious employer a lot, maybe casually mention his political donations, friendship with the mayor and chief, that sort of thing?"
PC1: "We won't have to. He'll already have sent his Lawyers."

At this point, 'Nonc' Morel, a rural Cajun sort who looks like a hobo who likes to fish and wrestle gators in the mud, aside from the actual, honest-to-God full size wizard's staff he always carries, starts to question the wisdom of any plan that involves knuckling down to Authority, the Law and possibly even Yankee Revenooers.

PC2: "It'll be fine. I know you look kind of dodgy, but you're a guest in the home of J.R. Kessler and his name carries a lot of weight around here."
'Nonc' Morel: "It gonna carry all them ounces of fine, sweet medicinal herbs I've got in my pockets?"
PC1: "Uh, you're just going to have to get rid of any drugs before they come in here."
Morel: "Hell, no! I got my pride! We still got freedoms, ain't we? What, next you're gonna arx me to pay them leeches taxes?"

---

Later, after 'Nonc' Morel St. Patin has decided to obey his first instincts and the instincts of generations of St. Patins by heading away from any representative of authority, who might be looking to discover his still, demand back taxes or ask him any questions at all, he stops by on the way out to to give advice to one of the kidnappers / cultists, who had proved to be a fairly unintimidating specimen and been subdued with social skills and then calmed with a rather large rolled-up joint of medicinal herbs:

'Nonc' Morel: "You just hang tough, kid and tell them cochons nothing. Nothing. Arx for a liar to speak for you, they cain't force you to speak without you gots one."
PC2: "He's right, kid. We'll get you a lawyer and you don't have to talk to anyone else about what happened here."
Morel: "What you gonna tell them cochons?"
Dazed young cultist: "Nothing?"
Morel: "Alohrs pas, bougie boy."

---

Still later, having to submit to various medical examinations, tests and suchlike, as well as give an official statement.

Player1, OOC: "I want to hunt a horrible monster in an exciting dungeon crawl, not sit with them in a cubicle and fill out paperwork!!!"
Player2, OOC: "I told you we should have attacked them on sight. Cops cause bureaucracy, like vampires cause anemia."
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Last edited by Icelander; 01-07-2019 at 05:27 AM.
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Old 01-06-2019, 05:01 PM   #1432
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: “It’s like being from Hell and visiting New Jersey. It’s a different kind of Hell.”

--

Contessa: “I’m not a succubus! I brandish my whip in defiance.”

--

01: “That would be a terrible warning shot.”
GM: “It was a German warning shot!”

--

Contessa: “The werewolf’s back is to me? I’ll transform for that precious DR.”

--

GM: “It’s a bad day to be a Nazi, apparently.”
Thane: “It’s always a bad day to be a Nazi.”

--

Thane: “Decisions . . . which should I use as a suppository for this Nazi machine gunner? His friend’s helmet, or this grenade he fumbled?”

--

Thane: “We need to find the cellar. Labs are always in the cellar.”
GM: “You are not wrong.”

--

GM: “It is not a nudist, and you are not a carnie, but you, absolutely, can ride the treant.”

--

GM: “Achtung! Aw, crap!”

--

Achim (NPC): “No, we’re not interested in being mounts or mules.”
Contessa: “It’s more like being a family.”
Achim (NPC): “We’re not interested in being in the family way.”

--

Contessa: “Mecha-Werewolf vs Robo-Hitler!”

--

Adam: “The Jig! She is up!”

--

GM: “And we will end it here.”
Thane: “Hip deep in demons. Ooh, that would be a good name for next episode.”
Contessa: “Or, ‘we will not-zee them again!’”
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Old 01-07-2019, 05:44 AM   #1433
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

As the notoriously Pitiable, Hollywood-Homely, mousy and reserved assistant librarian Damsel-in-Distress PC, Alice Talbot, was finally giving her statement to the police the day after her abduction and apparent rescue, she was, obviously, being treated with kid gloves. Nevertheless, some questions were inevitable.

Detective Kelly: "I'm very sorry to have to ask you this again, but was there ever any connection or relationship between you and your kidnapper, when you were both at UC Berkeley? Or might have have erroneously believed that there was some such relationship or connection?"
Alice (PC): "No. He was just a friend of some people I knew. I barely spoke with him and only knew him as 'Crash', because of some old story about him, when he got drunk and smashed some tables. Before my time and not a very funny story, even."
Kelly: "Did you know his parents or where he lived on campus?"
Alice: "Not really. I assumed he had parents, but I never spoke with him long enough for him to mention them. I told you, he was never really my friend, just a weird dude who'd been an undergraduate for ever and was finally a graduate student... in physics, I think. Or philosophy. Or both."
Kelly: "Do you know why he changed his focus from theoretical physics to geophysics?"
Alice: "God no. Why, is that relevant?"
Kelly: "We don't know, but we do know that that is why he left the university, after he was somehow offered a chance for a position as a graduate assistant at a Russian research station in Antarctica."
Alice: "Oh, wow. I guess I just heard he changed fields again and went somewhere for a research gig. I never knew it was Russian or, like, in Antarctica."
Detective Cartwright: "Before he left, it seems the man who kidnapped you changed his name, to the one we found on his ID documents yesterday, Janus Eremus. Do you know why he would have done that?"
Alice: "No, I told you, I never even knew his name. He never went by anything other than 'Crash'."
Kelly: "Before he changed it, his name was Aquarius Love Dandelet-Tripplehorn."
Alice (shocked giggle): "Well, doesn't that answer why he'd change his name?"
Kelly: "I'll admit it's not the central mystery here."
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Old 01-13-2019, 04:33 PM   #1434
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

Thane (OOC): “OOH! I want Mark to run a D&D game so I can make a warlock with Contessa as my patron!”

--

Thane: “How does the werewolf become a grenade?”
Contessa: “Is that anything like ‘how is a raven like a writing desk?’”
Tabby: “That sounds bad.”
Contessa: “You might be able to do it if you ate some really spicy curry.”

--

GM: “The HEMP rounds can only be replaced in a very high tech area.”
Thane: “Or just someone with weed.”
GM: “Wrong type of HEMP.”

--

Contessa: “YES! I am Contessa-Kill-Stealer of the Clan Kill-Stealer!”

--

GM: “01—Something horrible seems to be happening in there . . . and the werewolf seems to be reveling in it.”

--

GM: “2B—You’re pretty sure the amount of electricity in this room would be counter-indicated by your operations manual.”

--

GM: “I am not naming anyone ‘Asser’.”
Thane: “Why not?!”
Contessa: “They come from a long line of Assers!”
Tabby: “There has to be someone named Asser!”
Contessa: “Keep firing Assers!”

--

GM: “Contessa’s flock is growing.”
Contessa: “Now it’s more Nazis than lizardmen so . . . yay?”
01: “Not sure if that’s an improvement or a lateral move.”

--

Suzi (NPC): “You had mind-controlled Nazis? I thought was usually the other way around.”
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Old 01-20-2019, 04:36 PM   #1435
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: This is a plan that only a werewolf could enact.

--

GM: “In general, these guns can hurt Thane. In practice . . ..”

--

Tabby: “Grabs his butt!”
GM: “And for Tabby’s action, she grabs Adam’s butt.”
Adam: “I’m startled.”

--

Tabby: “Is that missiletoe?”
GM: “No, that’s a TOW missile.”

--

Contessa: “Where is the murder-werewolf when we need him.”
Thane: “Busy murdering!”

--

Contessa: “Then we all turned into a Katamari and rolled into the ship.”

--

And then the series ended:
“And Alice, with the power of Hope, holds back the Raven Division soldiers as both groups of Weirdos quickly board The Stalwart Empress.”

The eyes of the gathered children glistened in the campfire light with anticipation, leaning forward toward the elderly woman telling the story. With a weathered arm, she lifts a cup of tea, to her lips. Her good, blue, eye dances across the children, and glancing at the watch on her wrist.

“Oh, my. It’s later than I thought. You children must get to your sleeping bags and get some sleep.”

“But!” The cries of complaint rose from the gathered children, their faces falling into despair as the story was ending.

“But! What about Adam and Tabby? What happens with them?”
“And 2B? Does she ever get her memories back?”
“Do they prevent the coming of the Angel of Death?”

“We have time for more stories, in the future.” The story teller’s soft voice didn’t rise, and her smile never breaking.

“But, what about Mainframe? Do they save it?”
“And Thane? Will they ever tell stories about his bravery?”

The story teller’s smile widened as she surveyed the children. “What do you think we’ve been doing? There are always more stories to tell. But, now, children, to bed with you. We have a busy day tomorrow.”

The children grumbled and protested, but, ultimately, obeyed. As the last child zipped up their tent the story teller rose and stepped toward her own tent. Glancing up at the full moon and smiling.

The rustling of the trees to her side brought a smile to her face as she turned to see the tall, slender form of Anastasia stepping from the forest.

“It’s been a while, Ana,” she said with a smile.

The young woman nodded, and in a strong voice. “It has, indeed.”

The Story teller’s eye widened and she took a sharp breath. “You’re—”

The Source nodded. “I am. It’s been a long time. But, it’s time.”

The Story teller’s smile faded and she nodded. “It’s been a good life,” she said, regaining her smile, though, with a hint of sadness.

The Source stepped over to her and ran her hand through the silvered hair of the story teller. “Don’t be sad,” she says with a smile. Her fingers moving through the story teller’s hair, turning it from grey and white back to its original blonde. “It’s not your time. It’s time you went back to what you do best: Being a hero. If I could rewind three years of Carmen’s life, what makes you think I couldn’t rewind seventy of yours?”

“You mean?”

“Sherry, the multiverse always needs heroes.”

Sherry pulled off her eyepatch, revealing her golden eye. She embraced the Cosmic Will of the Macroverse. All around them, the forest shivered as the mighty engines of The Stalwart Empress brushed the trees aside as the freighter landed. Its massive cargo hatch sliding open. Todd and Pinky standing just inside the hatch, with their hands outstretched, smiling, waiting for her.

“Thank you!” Sherry cried as, once again a young girl, she ran to the starship. Once again, to join with her family, the Infinite Weirdos.
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Old 01-20-2019, 11:21 PM   #1436
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

A well-concluded campaign is a jewel that takes such an amazing amount of investment to construct. Congratulations.
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Old 01-24-2019, 04:16 PM   #1437
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

From a non-canon mini (mostly just messing around in the game channel):

<Host> "Welcome, one and all, to the first annual HYDRAthon! We have taken over the national PBS headquarters and co-opted their studio to raise funds for our next harebrained scheme at world domination! Hail HYDRA!" *stage whisper* "Can we actually say this? Oh, wait, we're *live*?"

<Meatshield> "I can't decide whether this is some bonehead's idea of setting a trap for even dumber heroes or an actual fundraiser."
<Chelsea> "It can't be both?"

After showing the never before aired second episode of Heil, Honey, I'm Home: <Host> "You know, if you send us money, we won't *have* to torture you with trash like this series!"

<Host> "We're now in hour three of the first annual HYDRAthon, and I must say, the authorities and superheroes of this town are showing *remarkable* restraint! We haven't had to shoot at *anyone* trying to enter the building!" *gunfire off-camera* "Oh, there we go! Oh, no wait, that was just Bob testing out the new M4s we have in stock. Those can be yours as well, at cost!"
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Old 01-24-2019, 11:30 PM   #1438
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Phantasm View Post
After showing the never before aired second episode of Heil, Honey, I'm Home: <Host> "You know, if you send us money, we won't *have* to torture you with trash like this series!"
"We won't have to . . . but, likely we will anyway."
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Old 01-26-2019, 07:15 PM   #1439
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

<Phantasm> [ Mara is currently ... nowhere to be seen in the kitchen, though ... *rolls per checks* ... where was that blender hiding earlier? ]
* Chelsea looks to see if the blender has a soul.
<Chelsea> <ooc> I CAST DETECT EVIL ON THE BLENDER
<Meatshield> <ooc> Evil detected! A spell wasn't necessary as the smell of guacamole eminates from it's unclosed top.


<Mag> "I guess. I mean, the challenge of causing enough trouble to get put in the vault is kinda tempting..."
<Sammy> "You mean another Tuesday for you?"
<Mag> "Another Tuesday?"
<Sammy> "There is a list a mile long of things you are no longer allowed to do on Imperial station."
<Starbot> <ooc> I wonder if Skippy's List is already a thing. (Note: the year in-game is '87)


* Chelsea sniffles and wipes a tear from her eye. "My ward's volunteering to become a federal criminal for the greater good. I'm so proud!"
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Last edited by Phantasm; 01-26-2019 at 07:58 PM.
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Old 01-27-2019, 03:58 PM   #1440
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Default Re: Memorable Quotes.

GM: “The ship’s alarm has gone off!”
PD-P13: “I think, at this point, I’m required to run around going ‘BWEEEEEEE!’”
Rosalie: “Is it supposed to do that?”
GM: “The droid or the ship?”
Rosalie: “Both.”

--

Pirate 1: “Give us your stuff!”
Rosalie: “Hesitantly, but—we already gave it to him. I point to the guy on the right. And, using my Uncertain Force User ability, try to mind trick them.”

--

Pirate 2: “Ah! I am wounded, my dear!”
Rosalie: “Not yet . . ..”

--

GM: “Welcome aboard the I’ll name it later.”

--

Rosalie: “PD—do you have an ultraviolet scanner? You know . . . never mind. I don’t want to know what’s on these sheets.”

--

PD: “Well, ships don’t usually have an opinion—it’s not like they're droids or anything.”
Rosalie. “Um, okay?”

--

Rosalie: “Can you open a channel on an Imperial frequency? And then we can get the Hell out of Nar Shaddaa—because we’ve never been to Dodge.”

--

Rosalie: “I don’t see a docking bay 82 . . . but there’s a weird docking bay Z8 over there . . ..”

--

Dehr: “In my mind, the luxury liner’s name was The Gilded Hippo.”

--

Rosalie (OOC): “I don’t think we should use this as the medbay. Let’s use this one—it doesn’t open directly into space!

--

Portmaster: “Do you have anything you’d like to declare?”
Rosalie: “There’s a pirate ship behind your moon.”
PD (OOC): “There’s always a pirate ship behind the moon.”

--

Dehr: “I can put us up for the night—you guys don’t mind living in my mucous pouch, right?”
PD: “That’s counter-indicated by my operations manual.”

--

Rosalie: “We need to de-grease our hyperdrive . . . can I get a Pan-Galactic Gargle Blaster?”

--

Dehr: “I say ‘Dehr.’ Both as an introduction and to vomit out my organs and consume some bar peanuts.”
Rosalie: “Uh--.”
PD (OOC): “Well that’s horrifying.”

--

Twi-lek: “You’re looking for the Rebellion? They’re in the hills over yonder.”
Rosalie: “Well that doesn’t sound like a trap!”

--

Rosalie: “Aha! He’s a marketing gimmick for Used Bob’s Amazing Speeders!”
Dehr (OOC): “Bob really is his uncle.”

--

Rosalie: “Can we take this for a test-drive?”
Used-Bob: “Sure, you’ll just have to leave your droid as collateral.”
Rosalie: “He’s the only one of us who can drive.”
Dehr: “I can drive.”
Rosalie: “Hush!”
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