The best (ridiculously long) review ever of F.A.T.A.L. is back on RPGnet!

[Rev. Pee Kitty]

So, one day a few years ago, my friend James walks in for our gaming session and says, "Sorry I'm late. I got caught up reading this review of the worst RPG ever."

"F.A.T.A.L.?" I asked.

"F.A.T.A.L.," he affirmed.

Half the group nodded, while the others started protesting with stories of this horrible RPG or that horrible RPG. We laughed them off and gave them two URLs -- one to the review, one to a download of the game itself.

Next week, two things were clear. Those who had never heard of F.A.T.A.L. before this now realized that it was the Absolute Zero of RPG quality. And no one was able to get past the first 20 pages of the game itself without losing all hope in humanity, crawling away, and crying in a corner for several hours.

That review -- arguably the most accurate and succinct review of this game, despite being one of the longest RPGnet reviews ever -- has recently been posted back to RPGnet as a "(slight remix)" version that simply must be read.

Warning: Potty mouth language in the review, as well as details of rape, sodomy, rape, graphic violence, and more rape, because... well, because that's basically what F.A.T.A.L. is all about. Not the reviewers' fault, really.

[Turhan's Bey Company]

Thank you for posting this. Now let us never speak of it again.

[Mailanka]

I can't even read the review. It makes me feel dirty.

I'm serious.

[Ed the Coastie]

Agreed. My "Usual Suspects" (mostly adult) group refers to the game as T.G.T.S.N.B.M. (The Game That Shall Not Be Named), while I have forbidden my daughter (the only non-adult among the Usual Suspects) from even hinting at it's existence to the other (teenage) players of our current group.

[Mark Skarr]

Originally Posted by Turhan's Bey Company

Thank you for posting this. Now let us never speak of it again.

I'm the Forum Pervert, and I endorse this post.

[Rev. Pee Kitty]

I shouldn't do this . . .

No, I really shouldn't do this . . .

Ah, what the heck.

Here's the link to a sample of the game's theme song. Yes, you read that right. And no, you really shouldn't listen to it. Really.

[Phoenix_Dragon]

Originally Posted by Rev. Pee Kitty

I shouldn't do this . . .

I must admit... That was horrendously, laughably bad... Something. Calling it music is far too generous.

On the plus side, the review is so amusing, it at least partially makes up for the pain of having come across the thing. Partially. Very partially.

[Mark Skarr]

Originally Posted by Rev. Pee Kitty

I shouldn't do this . . .

No, I really shouldn't do this . . .

Ah, what the heck.

Here's the link to a sample of the game's theme song. Yes, you read that right. And no, you really shouldn't listen to it. Really.

Dude!

Why would you do that to us?

Why?

I thought you liked us!

[Graham]

Failed my Curiosity roll. Read the review. Wish I hadn't. Sullied.

Graham

[Rev. Pee Kitty]

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr

Why would you do that to us?

What? I told you not to listen to it! :)

Originally Posted by Graham

Failed my Curiosity roll. Read the review. Wish I hadn't. Sullied.

I actually downloaded and attempted to read the game itself (years ago). Spent half the day doing so (a bit here, a bit there) and the remaining half just lying in bed, not really aware of the passage of time, trying to let my brain heal. Seriously.