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Old 06-22-2012, 10:15 AM   #9
Joe
 
Join Date: Aug 2004
Default Re: [DF] One shot- Crevan Brokenhands Last Rest

Since we're doing small spelling/grammar edits :)

I thought I'd just throw in this one: it might be nice to change "renown" to "renowned" when you use it as an adjective. This happens twice:

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ego Archive View Post

Crevan, regarded as the greatest of the Barbarian Kings, is renownED for hundreds of miles as the last barbarian to...

...
6. The statue depicts the mans hand bound with ropes and fabric to the pommel of the sword. Obviously this is a representation of Crevan at the seige he is so renownED for.
You might want to watch out for Stripes' changes, too - I'm not sure they've been as incorporated as you think - see "mans" vs "man's" and "seige" vs "siege", above.

In passing: I really like the way this dungeon takes us back into some history. If the GM runs it with real atmosphere, the players could really get the sense that, as they travel deeper into the dungeon, they're also traveling back deeper into some glorious heroic past, which is only now returning to life...

That's great, in my view - for me, this relationship between going deeper into the dungeon and going deeper into history really hits at the heart of good, as opposed to overly schlock, dungeon fantasy. So thanks for that!
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