[GhostInTheMachine]

DnD 3.5 game. New club. Most of the chars are being unresponsive zombies, but one char (a munchkiny, rules lawyer Catfolk Ranger w/ ungodly DX @ lvl 1) always does some retarded stuff that really makes me question his CG alignment.

After being transported through a natural sewer spring to Rokugan (OA) and leaving a heavily enchanted cave to prevent demonic comings/goings...

They arrive outside to a very large plains. Dead bodies scattered around. Behind you is a massive 300 foot wall @ the foot of a mtn. There are people you can barely see above you muttering in a weird language.

Language problems ensue, apparently Orcish isn't favored=hail of arrows=everyone hid in bamboo thicket=found by 30 ppl regiment of soldiers=Elven is understood and jail escort ensues to top of wall. Catfolk randomly jumps out of thicket and attempts to kill a random NPC.

A small battle ensues and he is eventually dropped in prison with the rest of em. He then repeatedly attempts to kill and loot the original guard 3 times in his cell. Eventually he is hung over the wall. 1 rope per limb. It gets dark, guards place burning torches over his head dripping sparks.

GM: It's getting dark. Out in the distance you see a large mass of glowing green spheres. The archers above start shouting and shooting.

Catfolk: "Oh crap...I try to get out of the ropes."
GM: Ok. (wait for details)
Catfolk: I cut the hand ropes.
GM: You fall straight down and manage to nearly break your nose on the wall below. (By now his fights with the guards have managed to get him shanked in the gut, punched, etc so he is pretty close to being dead...)
Catfolk: DANGIT! Can't I just jump?
GM: It's 300 ft.
Catfolk: Soooooooo?
GM: Go ahead. Try it.

Needless to say he didn't try it, but he did question it many times. Not to mention ask for tons of XP for killing a non-essential cannon fodder NPC.

Then later on in game we got to a port city (they returned to their original world and stole a boat. The paladin is not pleased. Oh yeah the catfolk as managed to get into an incredible bar fight and stole about 10 bottles of rum.

Paladin: You guys aren't being evil are you?
CatfolkPC1/PC2rogue: No...
Paladin: Detect lies.
PC1/PC2: Rolls (6)
Paladin: Rolls....1.

Then the boat had to be named...
Catfolk: The Mauve Avenger (pronounced MAA-UVE)
Rogue: The Mauve Avenger: The Reckoning (pronounced MOO-UVE)
This vicious fight went on for about 3 mins. Then the paint color was decided: Purple and Black.