confessions of a weirdness magnet, part 3
they're not active today - mostly. when i sat down on the porch, a beautiful little
5 lined, blue tailed skink stuck it head out and looked at me, and ran. and then a minute later chased a bug out, stopped, panicked and ran lickety-spittle back....just like a ferret. then, he came out, walked across the porch and walked between my feet, so his blue tail just brushed my insole. just like a ferret saying 'i know you're there, 'sall good'. i know that was a random event, not a message to me saying, 'hold on, we're gonna hitch you up with another ferret, this one with a no cancer pedigree'. right. just cause it means **** to me and i get this rush of serotonin like i'm peaking on good x, just for a few minutes, that doesn't matter.
i take a drug that works by slowing the frequency of the nerve signals hitting my brain. if i don't, i'm like a raw nerve all the time, no filters, hypersensitive - i'll model my life to avoid loud noises and ****. so, yeah, maybe i don't see everything and i loose stuff. that's why my stuff vanishes and is never seen again, or gets replaced by something better in a very conspicuously unlikely manner. and beautiful animals come up and touch me like snow white in a ****ing disney movie!!! which is great, right? i bet i can teach him to catch crickets by the end of the summer.
oh, and for the first time in months, i got something to read. i picked 'the 3 body problem', the from chinese translation, kinda randomly. the last book i tried a while back was 'young adult' which can be genre when handled with a deft hand, but not so much terse in a complex SF book ('red rising') then nothing before that for months, i was writing my own book. and what is 'the 3 body problem' about? reality coming apart in a scare the **** out of you manner, in a detailed PRC both in the Cultural Revolution and the near future and is *fantastic* but it's also about reality coming apart in a scare the **** out of you manner. it's not like the shoggoth sound has stopped - i hear it about once a day, but it's WAY TOO ****ING LATE IN THE GAME for me to go looking after that **** if it ain't directly harming me. it's not like i started with an assload of SAN points, if you get me.