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Old 02-12-2015, 03:48 AM   #872
Anders
 
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Join Date: Jan 2005
Location: Gothenburg, Sweden
Default Re: Real-Life Weirdness

Quote:
Originally Posted by ericthered View Post
nice ... can I get a link?
I don't think I have a link in English. It was in 1611, during the so-called Kalmar War. Swedish historians don't want to talk about it because we clearly lost.

The previous "peace negotiations" had been handled by the kings. King Charles IX of Sweden had opened them by challenging the Danish king to a duel "in the old Geatish way", with only a helmet for protection.

Christian IV answered by saying that the Swedish king was better suited for pity than for a fight, that a warm fire would be better for the old king, and that he needed a doctor to "make [his] head right again". He finished his note by saying that the Charles had apparently learned his manners from a whore who "wards herself by barking".

There was no peace.

Edit: Note that this wasn't even the lowest point of Swedish diplomacy. That took place in an infamous exchange of letters between John III and Ivan IV in 1572-1573, where the czar claimed that John was the son of a lowly peasant and that the czar was as the Heavens to John's lowly Earth. Upon reading this, John III completely lost it and sent a letter in which he said a) that the czar must have been raised by a peasant or a monk since he does not know how to write to a king; b) that John's father was a powerful noble and gave a very extensive account for his noble heritage; and c) that the czar had so poisoned his mouth with lies that it could never be clean again. He then wishes that the czar be reduced to a thrall, says that all Russians are ignoble thralls as well, and says that if the czar trembles over his letter and wishes to make peace, John will magnamoniously grant it, if the czar send his highest nobles to treat with the Swedish king.
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Last edited by Anders; 02-12-2015 at 10:20 AM.
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