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Old 06-16-2009, 04:31 PM   #8
Icelander
 
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Location: Iceland*
Default Re: They should really fix that in Cabaret Chicks on Ice!

Quote:
Originally Posted by doctorevilbrain View Post
Icelander, why do you call Low Tech "Cabaret Chicks On Ice" ?
Gather close to the fire, youngsters, and I'll spin ye a yarn.

'twas in the dark and ignorant days of yore, when the world was young, the Basic Set was but new writ and fearful creatures with blood-drinking fangs roamed the plains, a hunting for unwary youngsters who did not heed their elders and betters.

Gamers interested in historical campaigns were given short shrift and had to either accept what the tiny equipment section in the Basic Set gave them or make up their own equipment rules. They were terrible times.

The people prayed for deliverance from their saviour, The Line Editor. They asked Him, 'Oh, thou who art wise in the ways of GURPS, lift thine gaze over us and give unto us thine Low-Tech, as your predecessors did in the days of The Third Edition'. And He was sympathetic to their plight. He dispatched his servants from his Heavens to walk among the people to ascertain what his dutiful followers wanted from this book.

There were giants in the earth in those days.

But the servants, in their time among the people, saw other games than GURPS. They knew these games as a player knows role-playing games. And they begat offspring with these games, bastard offspring the likes of which good youngsters such as yourselves could never conceive in an aeon of time.

They suggested that instead of giving the people Low-Tech, The Line Editor should give them Fantasy-Tech. Historical accuracy was for pedants and peasants, double-headed axes and flail-swords were where it was at.

The multitude raised a great hue and cry. 'Oh, Great and Merciful Line Editor, thou who art in Montréal, what is this we hear about Fantasy-Tech? Did we not ask for Low-Tech that reads like a dry history textbook and has little utility in games other than those run by SCA-members with OCD and no hobbies that do not include at least a week of research to understand?'

And Kromm said unto them: 'Listen, you ungrateful lot, no one has approved anything about Fantasy-Tech. The Low-Tech book will be a gear catalogue that will aim to be useful to anyone running a campaign at TL0-TL4. This is going to happen no matter what anyone calls it, because GURPS is generic and univeral and we support a range of play styles that spans all the way from that weird Icelander who mumbles to himself while modelling armour penetration to the high-flying acrobatic kung fu of the games I run for myself in the shower. They could call this book Cabaret Chicks on Ice for all I care and it would still aim to be useful to the vast body of GURPS players and not just a narrow subset of them.'

Chastised, the people subsided. Then, someone realised that Kromm had promised the people that everyone would have what they wanted, just as soon as Cabaret Chicks on Ice was released.

There was general rejoicing, apart from that blasted segment of the tribe who is not happy about anything.

A few did not believe in the promised coming of the fabled CCoI, others said that once it was published, Nazis would once more ride dinosaurs and hunt down the forces of good. To those doubters, I say to ye, ye're a bunch of nancy-pantsed willow-wallowers an' should all bugger off.

Now, which of you whippersnappers is going to fetch me another ale? I find myself powerful thirsty after all this talespinning.
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Last edited by Icelander; 06-16-2009 at 04:41 PM.
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