Quote:
Originally Posted by Emerald Cat
DangerousThing is referring to the fact that your template comes out to 122 points rather than 125, a multiple of 5. Multiples of 5 are preferred because Advantages and Disadvantages typically have values that are multiples of 5. To get there, you need to spend 3 more points elsewhere on this template.
Formatting wise, this is a good start. A minor nitpick is that character points for individual traits are usually enclosed in [] rather than (). That could cause confusion on templates that contain Innate Attacks, since armor divisors are enclosed in ().
Your Advantages and Disadvantages would be easier to parse if each trait were put onto a separate line. This would be especially helpful for the Patron (Church of the Silver Flame) advantage, because it is hard to tell where that trait ends. If you do keep them in list form, please use semicolons to separate traits to make it easier to separate them out.
I'd recommend using a consistent phrasing for the menus that enable player choice. You are dealing with new players, so your menu needs to make it clear to your player what they need to do. Your "spend [X] points from" wording from the Secondary and Background skill section is clearer than "then [X] points from" the Advantages section. For the Secondary and Background skills, you may want to explicitly state that players may invest more than 1 point if that is an option.
Regarding the actual traits on the sheet, most of it looks good but I do have a few critiques. For one thing, the highest skill level on the sheet is a 12. Is that indicative of PC skill levels? I also share Mailanka's opinion that the Vow disadvantage is easier to roleplay than Code of Honor. Vow should at least be an option on the disadvantages list.
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Thanks for your formatting suggestions, i have edited the post to incorparate them.
Regarding the skill levels I did not want to make the npcs, overly powerful, this is for a starting squire, either player or npc in the organisation. I will probably do some further npc templates for more experienced npc knight types, such as captains, sergeants etc.