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Old 08-10-2018, 07:56 AM   #54
Kromm
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Join Date: Jul 2004
Location: Montréal, Québec
Default Re: DFRPG momentarily on Board Game Breakfast

This strays off-topic from the subject line, but I think it remains somewhat relevant because it explains the mood of the DFRPG's designer and perhaps the mood of the DFRPG.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Tom H. View Post

It's hard to get a sense of perspective. Some people seem to be on top of the world, and then I find many others who struggle.
It's often a choice. Since early 2016, in roughly chronological order:
  • I had a project at work that consumed all of my time and then went into extra innings, often on top of my regular workload.

  • While that was going on, my father was diagnosed with incurable cancer, and later died of it.

  • Owing to the previous, I had to travel home four times – mostly without warning and at full fare. Travel expenses and missed hours at work (I invoice hourly and have no paid leave) cost me an amount with four zeroes after it.

  • When I finally got back home for good, my immune system was shot. I fell ill with a virus and was off work for almost another month, losing further revenues.

  • Concurrent with the above, the dance studio where I was a student, then a barman and class accompanier, and finally a very junior teacher, went under. I lost a second home and my surrogate family, and the activity I pursue to stay sane was somewhat curtailed.

  • The stress of everything so far made it impossible for me to ignore cracks in my long-term relationship that I had previously been able to manage. I am now separated.

  • Dealing with all of the above meant paying a therapist, which was helpful but costly.

  • I received a minor injury this past winter that further limited my dancing. It's still with me, despite paying a fair sum to professionals to help me with that.

  • The separation went from "separate but cohabiting" to "I want you to move out right now!" without warning, so I had to divide bank accounts, find a place to live, switch over utilities, pack, move, equip a household, etc. in a few weeks, while still injured. That was very expensive and tiring.

  • That mess meant paying a mediator and a lawyer, which was helpful but very costly.

  • And now SJ Games is having a tough enough time that it has laid people off and cancelled its 'zine.
Now I could dwell on the fact that I'm stressed, injured, close to broke, and starting from next to zero, but I don't!

I love my new girlfriend. I love my friends. I love my new apartment, and the new neighborhood it's in. I love to dance, which I manage to do despite injury and the need to find new places to do it. I love to work on games, even if it's work.

So I choose to be happy, despite the struggles with grief, illness, fiscal woes, a schedule filled with deadlines and appointments, and other stressors. This is why the therapist is so helpful.

Which means that here and elsewhere, people see positivity from me. And because of that, they respond mostly positively, which reinforces my own positivity. I just hope that the DFRPG also comes across as fun and positive, not gloomy, dry, and negative.
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