[ziresta]

Dravenloft, in an IOU game, playing a Forgotten Realms dryad, answering "What do you do now?": "I attempt to seduce the Archdean."

Him again, playing a pixie barbarian in a dungeon crawl: "I'm going to try to tame the displacer beast using the default from Animal Handling (Raccoons)." (The pixie didn't realize it was a displacer beast. She thought it was just a weird, big cat. She wanted it for a mount.)

Both times I told him he could do it on a natural 3 (house rule in silly games, anything succeeds on a natural 3). Both times he rolled a 4.

"Slightly-off-kilter" scientist in the IOU game: "I know the female body inside and out. I'm growing one … two, actually."

Dravenloft, playing a Chaos worshipping priest and mage in a Basic D&D game: "Can we keep the charmed kobold for a pet?"

And, one of the same characters as above: "What happens if we eat the purple moss?"

The problem with the pixie barbarian being the party's scout became clear after she failed to spot a trap: "Oh, I was supposed to look at the floor?"

The player of the scientist, out of character: "It's not necrophilia if they can still move."

Someone in the dungeon party after the bard started singing a sarcastic song about how boring this dungeon was: "Do not taunt the dungeon."

Carnivorous lizardman in an I-SWAT game : "Nazis -- pretty tasty snack. Feed on a lot of meat. Sausages. Bratwurst."

NPC in a space opera game finishing a story as his wife came into the room: "And that is why you should never hire a five credit prostitute. Some of those diseases are REALLY painful. I learned that the hard way." (5 credits = 5 GURPS dollars.)