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Old 05-13-2018, 11:48 AM   #5
Join Date: Jan 2006
Default Re: Sympathy for the Weasel

Ice Weasel Iceweasel

"Look, it's very simple - imagine you're an orc, and you think the local humans really pale, so you call them 'Milk Men.' Then you discover they have folks dedicated to bringing milk to their houses, and in their language they are called 'Milkmen'. Would call them 'Milk Men Milkmen?'

So the slick weasels deliver milk? I thought they delivered ice?


Yes Rigby, they deliver milk. That's why we call them Iceweasels. Now please go guard the supplies."

Ice weasel iceweasels are a response to perhaps the greatest challenge to Ice Weasel World Domination - the fact that there are parts of the world not covered in ice. Initially a much more ambitious project hoping to initiate a premature fimbulvinter, the ice weasel grand pooh bah had to scale back the project when she realized that basically all ice weasels have ADD at levels that would preclude in depth study of of magic in any other civilization. Still, with diligent effort, repeated whippings, and regular sacrifices to the Great Ice Goddess, some progress was made. This progress is embodied in the ice weasel iceweasels.

There is currently lots of debate about the best way to refer to these bloodthirsty little ... druids (ish) in the delver community. Scholarly folks prefer 'iceweasel' as it is true to their name for themselves. Blunter warrior types prefer 'slick weasel' since it works as a jibe against their more naturally weaselly companions, and for some reason said weaselly community prefers 'frosty bois'. Bards are currently pushing 'double weasel' as a sort of meta joke, but admit that this depends on the bookish name to be funny, so is unlikely to stick. This just makes the name even more appropriate in their eyes.

Treat as ice weasels with the following differences:
  • Lose Wild Animal, replace it with Compulsive Sacrificing
  • Increase IQ to 12, add druidic power investiture 5, and add 6 points of energy reserve
  • Most have a ice blue jewel on a silver chain around their neck. This is an ice jewel worth $500, and a 5 pt power item - it is generally 25 degrees colder than ambient, but will melt to water if ever stored at a temp higher than 55 F of subjected to 5 or more points of fire damage. Total available FP is 25.
  • Add naturalist, religious ritual, hidden lore (ice spirits), esoteric medicine and lichen lore, all at 13
  • As ice druids, all 'ice' spells are kosher. They always have frostbite at 15, plus...
  • 'Ice Slick,' a variant of Grease based on ice, at skill 20. (Main differences are that 1. Hobnails etc. work just fine, but 2. It can be used to cancel ongoing burny spells in the same area)

Slick Billy, Stone Cold Steve, and Refrigerator Jerry are most valuable when ice weasels wander from their ideal terrain, go on a deep penetration mission, or when some smarmy pinky neutralizes their terrain adaptation advantage. They work with with their buddies Svenga and Caltrop to ensure properly horizontal foes for their fellow weasels to swarm over and chomp to death.

If you're not starting to worry about the weasels' plans you're not paying attention.
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