Re: The foof gun, combat value, using teleport, etc.
It's a regular 1 Hand item with a special ability: you can choose not to count its bonus if you prefer not to, or choose to count its bonus if you prefer, and you may change this decision at any point until you win or lose the fight.
(What you can't do is decide at the last minute that you aren't using the FG without giving the other players time to react; that's one consequence of the "reasonable time" rule. You can change your mind, but that gives everyone else a chance to keep screwing with you.)
If you count the bonus and kill the monsters, you don't get levels from the fight. If you don't count the bonus and kill the monsters, take your levels as normal. If you don't kill the monsters, none of this matters. :-)
I confess that your elaborate case-by-case analysis has me slightly perplexed. Does what I wrote above make sense, or are you still confused on something?
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