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Blood Legend 06-25-2007 03:43 AM

Memorable Quotes.
 
This thread is another humor thread, (2000 things, famous last words...) except different (aren't they all ;D).

What memorable quotes have you or your friends created, and what event were they tied to at that moment?

My latest adventure involved being stuck on a space craft. A frigate compairably not well suited for combat. The enemy ship was roughly the same size as ours. Except it had Particle Beams, godly anti-missile capability, and a shield that could take a nuke. My ship was of course, packed with missiles. After 2 volleys from 2 frigates, in roughly the #40's range worth of missiles, it was reported that only 5 made it through, and that the shield had barely flickered while the rest of the missiles were taken out in a quick flash of light from the particle beams.

I was on deck, commanding the frigate Lawson. The Communcations officer turns to me with a recommended course of action. I reply:

"Quick, call fleet command, we've got a GM's wet dream on our hands!"

whswhs 06-25-2007 07:47 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blood Legend
What memorable quotes have you or your friends created, and what event where they tied to at that moment?

"You mean I can't shoot my own prisoner in my own studio with my own gun?"

Bill Stoddard

GhostInTheMachine 06-25-2007 07:51 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
PC1: "I'll throw a surgeons tool at him(PC2)."
GM: "You start to pick up a rusty scalpel from the table..."
PC1&2: "NO!"

~PC 1 in the process of finding PC 2 who is trapped in-between dimensions in an odd cadaver drawer in a morgue of an insane asylum abandoned in the middle of the Vermont woods 2 days from civilization.

Redcrow 06-25-2007 09:05 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
The characters in our Shadowrun group are invited to a private dinner by a (suspicious) new contact. As paranoia was abundant among this particular group the dinner began something like this...

PC 1(Mage): I Astrally Perceive the food.
GM: Its magically delicious!

Bruno 06-25-2007 11:35 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
While infiltrating the Temple of Elemental Evil, a rogue backstabs an NPC for a one-hit-one-kill. The DM described an absolutely goary scene that resulted in most of the party being sprayed with blood.

The body was hid, and we continued into the Temple, but were stopped by a patrol of guards (who were far more capable of dealing with us than one unsuspecting NPC)...

Before they had a chance to say anything, one player quips: "Oh, sorry about the blood on the carpet. We just got back from the human sacrifice."

I've had players in a modern game carry medieval weapons onto public transit, and when challenged they said "Well of course it's an axe. We're on our way to a LARP."

I'm sure there are more, but I can't remember them right now. I'll get back to you when they come to mind.

Mark Skarr 06-25-2007 01:39 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
"I pull the pin and throw the ewok!"

PC1: "Ninjas? Bah! Ninjas are a dime a dozen!"
PC2: "Then somebody went and spent about 20 bucks!"

Upon witnessing Jessica getting smacked and her uncontrolled change into a flock of 33 ravens:
Me: "I can't heal birds!"

Me: "Oh, no. We're not here to protect them. We're here to protect you from them."

Furabo 06-25-2007 01:47 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Just an old staple: "Kill it before it multiplies!"

Then there is an example of miscommunication at the role-playing table:

The paladin is welcomed by the princess.

GM--in role as excitable young princess: "Be at ease, sir knight! Please--take off your helmet!"

Player--Out of Character: "It is off."

GM--Out of Character: "Oh."



Of course, the other players preferred their interpretation of the scene:

Princess (excited and pleased): "Be at ease, sir knight! Please--take off your helmet!"

Paladin: "It is off."

Princess (disappointed): "Oh."

sgtcallistan 06-25-2007 01:54 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
After a natural 20 mailed backfist to the 'nads, the villain was hauled out and over the knights' horse. As the villain's mercenaries boiled out of the guardhouse, the knight shouts:
'This man pays your wages! One step closer and he dies!'
-as they thought about it, we took off on horseback and escaped with the villain. Later found the mercs ransacked the castle and dispersed. Victory all round, the GM dropped ten pages of a fight and pursuit scenario in the waste paper basket in protest.

Then there was the time the whole party were hit with a confuse spell, or some hallucinogenic effect, I forget.
Party: 'Uhhh...'
Squeaky voice from nowhere: 'Candyfloss, sir?'
All: 'Oh, thank you...' (Geek points to be won!)

Blood Legend 06-25-2007 09:37 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Furabo
Of course, the other players preferred their interpretation of the scene:

Princess (excited and pleased): "Be at ease, sir knight! Please--take off your helmet!"

Paladin: "It is off."

Princess (disappointed): "Oh."

I saw that coming a mile away, but it's still funny as hell.

KevinJ 06-25-2007 09:58 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I was in an 'evil' campaign and we had just entered the throne room of the BBEG. This was a large room with a pillar of rock surrounded by a chasm of fire and a single narrow bridge leading to the throne.

I was at the head of the party (1E AD&D, LN 10/10 F/A) and when I saw the situation I knelt and in a loud voice said, "My liege! I have brought you this gift!"

The other players all looked at me and their jaws dropped. The BBEG then motioned me to rise and invited me to stand by his side, which I did. This allowed me to cross the bridge without incident.

The BBEG then gave his dramatic speech of how he was going to end the PCs lives in gruesome ways at which point the BBEG stood and took a step forward, whereupon I backstabbed him for outrageous damage.

I had a heck of a time getting the other players to believe that I wasn't one of his minions after that. But what did I care, I was going to end all their lives eventually anyway and collect the assorted bounties.

mechgogo 06-26-2007 07:21 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Last night in my M&M game, right before one of our team power-slammed one of the bad guys face first into the wooden platform/walkway the boats tie up to in Sydney Harbor

"Now commencing docking manuvers!"

Blood Legend 06-26-2007 08:14 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by mechgogo
"Now commencing docking manuvers!"

Oh for the love of bloody christ I have to stop drinking soda when I click on Roleplaying and General Chatter.

mechgogo 06-26-2007 05:15 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Blood Legend
Oh for the love of bloody christ I have to stop drinking soda when I click on Roleplaying and General Chatter.

HAHA! Yes! Victory!

ziresta 06-26-2007 06:05 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Lucas, a Temporal and Quantum Engineering major at IOU, has just seen his new roommate, Phillip, unpack a large quantity of explosives.

Lucas: So do you blow things up a lot?

Philip: No, not a lot. Usually I blow them up so well the first time that I can't blow them up again.

Mark Caliber 06-27-2007 07:22 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
My GM has a story in which a group of players spent 2 1/2 to 3 hours in a session trying to overcome a neigh unto impossible obstacle: A door.

They tried EVERYTHING to get through that accursed door! Tunneling, removing hinges, burning it, you name it for up to three hours!

And finally one of them tried pushing on the door. (Initially they had tried to pull the door and neglected to push.)

SO . . .

Whenever we start to get hamstrung by a situation and there's no apparent solution to proceed, I'm libal to blurt out, "I PUSH the door!"

Regarless of what were trying to do that solution generally works. :D

Apache 06-27-2007 10:32 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Newbie CP2020 player.

Told REPEATEDLY how dangerous CP2020 combat is compared to (blech) D&D.

Saw another PC whack a thug with one shot.

Picks a fight. With an entire boostergang. In their bar. Alone.

Quote of the evening, 'I didn't think you'd KILL me!'.

Sigh.

CaptainSkip 06-27-2007 02:29 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
So many, this one was fun though...

Brawny warrior PC to freshly captured trollkin apprehended skulking around the party camp...

Heroic Warrior: All right own up. The Mad Sultan sent you here to kill us right?

Quaking trollkin: Oh no, kind sir we are but scouts!

Heroic Warrior: Butt Scouts? Hey guys we've captured the Mad Sultan's Butt Scouts!

And the puns, oh god don't get me started on the puns...

Gamer_Zer0 06-27-2007 07:00 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
This was out of game when talking about other forms of combat characters can use

"Well, verbal combat against a T-Rex is kinda useless...
Bill---"You suck, you worthless pile of crap! go F*** yourself!!!"
T-Rex--- "GRRRRHH!!!" (then rips Bill to tiny peices and ingests them...)"

Mark Skarr 06-27-2007 09:13 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
From another supers game:
Kari (a radiation super): You mess with other girls, you get a black eye. You mess with me and you get lukemia.

From a different supers game:
Female player #1 (in character): "Boy, I bet his (piece of male anatomy) is so long you could tie it in a knot."
Female player #2 (also in character): "Or maybe in a bow."
Me (completely out of character): "Could he throw it over his shoulder like a continental soldier?"

From a completely different supers game:
Me (as briefing officer): "According to our calculations, with the current decay in the moon's orbit, it will collide with the Earth in three-hundred days."
Female Character: "What are we going to do?"
Male Character (to Female Character): "Yeah, three-hundred days doesn't give us much time to raise a family."

From the supers game, directly above:
Me (As "corrections" officer for the team): "No, Running Gag, you cannot leave the facility. You're here because we can't trust you, in public, by yourself."
Running Gag (a were-coyote): "BUT! I GOTTA GO WALKIES!"

Cassandra 06-28-2007 01:15 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
This one happened some ten years ago.

The characters were trying to find some bandits, who were hiding on a small island. A bridge led to this island, and it was guarded by a few bandits. The PC's fought and won the bandits, and contienued towards the small village on the island, where the rest of the bad guys were supposed to be hiding. When the fight broke out, we found out how much one player had been paying attention.

PC: I find a good spot so I can fire arrows on the bridge.
GM: Uh, what now?
PC: The bandits are on the bridge, right? I want to fire at them.
GM: Um, you're on the island now. You already crossed the bridge.

The last phrase is still uttered at almost every other session, whenever someone is paying less than complete attention.

Blood Legend 06-28-2007 03:33 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
"I'm going to the observatory deck and I'm drinking my cognac."

An exceedingly lazy mechanic who would do that ONE thing any time shizzno hit the fan. It got to the point where the other players would copy my downtime habits. If the campaign lasted any longer, I'm almost positive "I'm going to the observatory" would have made it in the books whenever anyone had something important to do.

Judge Death 06-28-2007 05:08 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
One of my favorite characters would always say "I have a theory about this..."

Peter V. Dell'Orto 06-28-2007 07:43 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I've got dozens, most of which are only funny to us. I figure the true test of a quote is that it stands without explanation. With that in mind, here are a few from my fantasy game and the name of the player who said them.

Tom:
"The snake - nature's flail."
"A coward dies a thousand deaths. But they are all fake."

Andy:
"We are simple country bandits, pay us no mind."
"You need a zombiotomy."
"He's not a person, he's a mage." (Note - Andy's PC is also a mage)

Sean:
"My zombies ARE happy. Smile, zombies!"

Mike:
"We can't trust him, he's a mage!" "But [Mike], you're a mage." "Right, I should know!"

Me:
"Make HT rolls until you fail."

We write these down when they come up, so I frequently look at my game notes and start laughing uncontrollably.

Here's the best of the bunch terms of summing up my game, said by Andy:
"You fall onto five death checks." In fact, I'm adding that to my sig.

Blood Legend 06-29-2007 05:55 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Jake: And to think I was gonna make umteen amount of money as a scientist
Me (GM): Yeah now you'll just die in a hole. Lets get to dying shall we?


This was at the start of the campaign.

Also, this is important information I'd love to share. Dont give your NPCs 30 HP if you dont want them to die a tremendously slow and painful death while the guy with the broomstick figures out he'll never have enough damaging potential to do more than 1 point of damage.

Me: "When was the last time either of you played one of my campaigns where anyone survived?!"

Nate: We need food!
Jake: No we dont.
Nate: And there might be stuff for my burns! And there's knives!
Jake: In a f***ing lunch room?
Nate: I dunno, but these guns suck.

Mark Caliber 06-29-2007 06:43 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
One of my goals in Role Playing (with my current group) is to get the GM to shoot Diet Pepsi through his nose with a humorous quip.

Sadly this next victory was not mine but I pass it on for your review.


We were in the opening operations of a Medieval siege, and our Dwarven engineer had decided to build a Trebuchet.

This action took quite some time and that player was sidelined for a bit, while other preparations were made in earnest.

Eventually the GM turned back to the player of the Dwarven PC informing him that sufficient time had past for the siege engine to have been completed, and inquired, "What do you want to do now?"

The response was, (in an ooouuuutragious French accent) "Fetche le vasht!"

The GM asked for clarification to which the player repeated, more enthusiastically, "Fetche le vasht!"

I think to gain some time, the GM then turned to his aforementioned elixir of caffeine and took a swig.

In mid drink, his brain made the connection that the Player was quoting the Frenchmen "Fetch the COW!" in Monty Python right before they pitched a cow at the Englishmen with their trebuchet.

Let's face it, Cows and Trebuchets are just a funny combo. And another reason not to quote Monty Python at RP games is that you might accidentally kill the GM! (Fortunately ours only suffered from minor carbonic acid burns to the inner nose.)

MacGregor 06-29-2007 08:02 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
In a Champions campaign, I was using M&M's as a large crowd of NPC's. About half way through the combat I noticed the crowd had thinned dramatically. I found myself repeatedly yelling at the group, "Quit Eating The Normals !!!"

In retrospect, I probably should have seen that coming.

HeroPenguin 06-29-2007 09:37 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
What do collecting tissue samples of an unusual monster, rushing into battle with said monsters, and managing to jam an advanced laser pistol in the first combat when testing it all have in common?

They are all perfect opportunities to shout "I'm a scientist!" while playing a dimensional rift research scientist and forcing our resident power armor pilot to choke on his drink as he laughs. The quote is now a recurring presence at the table, though I only said it those three times at the first game.

Bruno 06-29-2007 11:51 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
One of the most ominous quotes that have come up in our group was the infamous "Here, I won't be needing this." It's become the last words of I think three characters now when all their worst disadvantages proc in the worst possible combination in a bad situation, and the player prepares to go down in flames.

--

It comes from an ill-fated Teenaged Supers campaign, where everyone independently showed up with demonic-related origins, except John, who was a rather normal mutant...

One character "Sue" was an "inter-dimensional refugee" with a sort of crocodile theme going. She normally was a scaly, four armed, fanged, tailed, regenerating monster, but she could transform into a plain looking teen girl. She had the motivations of a crocodile, and utterly failed at blending into human society, so one member of the super team or another was always assigned as a 'babysitter' to make sure she didn't accidentally blow everyones secret ID. It had been impressed very FIRMLY on her that the secret identities are VERY IMPORTANT and she was NOT to give them away UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES.

One day "Sue" and John are in line in the cafeteria for lunch when another student sidles up and stage whispers to John "I know what you really are..." and then scoots off out of the cafeteria.

"Sue" gives John her lunch money, saying "Here, I won't be needing this," and follows the kid out of the caf. John, foolishly, did NOT follow her, because he was hungry and wanted lunch. He was also very very confused as to why he suddenly got "Sue"'s lunch money.

So was his player and the other players; the GM, however, knows the long list of mental disadvantages on "Sue"s character sheet (many of which he suggested as required for the character concept) and watched her player blow a string of rolls.

"Sue" follows the kid onto the bus as he travels home for lunch, and follows him all the way to his house, where she promptly kills and eats him in his back yard.

Long story short, the players held an impromptu meeting, where character sheets were compared, and realized that everyone except John had severe personality and supernatural problems.

The campaign was deliberately aborted by the players.

Not another shrubbery 06-30-2007 10:50 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno
"Sue" gives John her lunch money, saying "Here, I won't be needing this," and follows the kid out of the caf.

Sort of a different slant on "famous last words" :/

Blood Legend 06-30-2007 10:57 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Not another shrubbery
Sort of a different slant on "famous last words" :/

Yeah, especially with all the surviving. That perfectly fits the mood of the thread of course. :D

quarkstomper 06-30-2007 01:09 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I might have told this one before. What the hey; it's a good one.

In a SF game set in a Cynosure-like setting, I played a Lupin-esque master thief. My wacky brother Steeve played Raven, a biker whose motorcycle transformed into power armor and his friend Joe played his sidekick, an anthropomorphic android dog named "Hellhound"

Our group was infiltrating an office building and had finally reached the top floor, where the McGuffin awaited. The GM told us that we saw two doors. I picked one and the GM said, "You see white tile... it's the Ladies' Room."

Annoyed, I said "Fine. Then I check the other door."

This puzzled Joe. "Why is he bothering with the other door? It's bound to be just the Men's Room."

"Because He Feels the Need," Steeve explained in his best Gary Owen voice. "It's a biological thing, Hellhound; you wouldn't understand."

Raven and Hellhound quickly became known in that campaign as Blue Falcon and Dynomutt.

Apache 07-01-2007 01:34 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
On a related tangent, heard this one at Akon (anime con in Dallas,TX) a few years back......

"You have the most beautiful breasts I've ever seen......what do you MEAN you're only fourteen?!?!?"

Þorkell 07-08-2007 06:26 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
When looking at a four armed creature, that's just been described as mummified.

"Does he look a bit undead?"

Dark Mistress 07-08-2007 07:16 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
There has been a few in some of the games I have been in that I still have.

You're here for a rescue mission? - Will
We got distracted - Andy
What were you here originally for? - Will
To rent a video tape - Andy
(will missed the previous game and was IC finding out what happened)

(While entering a abandoned Industrial park)
She probably knows she's in trouble right now - Jake
She's twelve, she probably thinks it's cool - Mia
(Follows the others in) Kewl - Andy

Aw c'mon, it was a cheap shot - Andy
You don't understand how fighting works, do you? - Mia

I hired you because you're honest. - Morgan
Yeah. That gets me in trouble all the time. - Jake

If he comes in and tries to gun everyone down, we know we shouldn't hire him. - Jake

Blood Legend 07-08-2007 07:41 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
A back-and-forth with another player's designated enemy. (He looks like the hunter from Jumanji) The gunpoint exchange went something like this.

The Italian Stalion: Where is he?
Raymond: Who are you?
TIS: ...I'm not one to give my name.
Ray: I can't let you kill my friend.
TIS: Who are you?
Ray: ...There are some who call me ...Tim? (Group laughter)
Gm: Are you serious?
Me: ...well yeah, I am now.
TIS: I'm here to kill him.
Ray: And I can't let that happen.
TIS: Step aside or die.
Ray: I'm not one to die.
TIS: Nor am I.
Ray: -I pause thinking of anything to say-....S....Something..witty. -eyeballs the GM-
Gm: Are you serious? You're saying that out loud?
Me: Yes.

I was Raymonding it up in the best 'badass' my voice could muster,

wastel 07-09-2007 02:57 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
This was a fantasy campaign, we were rummaging through a mage's tower and had just found is alchemy lab. Conversation between Timotheo, the stage magician and Arden the battle mage:

Tim: Hey, look I found a healing potion.
Arden: That ain't no healing potion this is a mana potion.
Tim: You are right healing potion are of just slightly diffrent shade of green.

(Both character rolling against alchemy at default and none of them really knew what sort of potion it was, but kept debating just to impress the other characters)

ziresta 07-11-2007 01:20 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Said by an indignant xenoarchaeologist in last night's game, interrupting her fiancé and her father talking about her job, "I do not dig up dead people! I study cultural artifacts."

quarkstomper 07-14-2007 01:12 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
In my current Victorian Era Horror campaign, our group's resident mad scientist Dr. Adam Clay, ("No! I really am a doctor! Of Mathematics!"), has a goal of resurrecting the dead. Over several sessions, he gradually invented or acquired the elements he'd need to do this and finally reached the experimentation stage.

He ordered his NPC hunchbacked assistant Steve ("Yesss, Doctor!") to acquire some dead rats to test his process on. Steve returned with a couple cages, one with dead rats, one with live ones. "Just in case you need them," Steve helpfully explained.

"They weren't poisoned, were they?" Clay was concerned that any toxins in the rats' bodies might interfere with the resurrection process.

"Oh no, Doctor! I got some teeny-tiny pillows and smothered 'em!"

Blood Legend 07-14-2007 06:29 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
"You're like Zorro. Except illiterate and angry."

Mgellis 07-16-2007 07:22 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I suppose it says something about my campaigns that I frequently hear my players say, "Well, there's something you don't see every day."

Tommi_Kovala 07-17-2007 03:10 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
"Well, it's very hard to choose between Hitler and Stalin"

-Urho Sulonen (Joel's PC), when questioned about his background before immigration

Mark Caliber 07-25-2007 09:12 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Needs some setup (and hasn't actually happened yet . . .)

Setup:
PC is a Cidi, a small arboreal furry rodent like alien standing about 6-8 inches in height.

On a discussion involving long term relationships (with a bit of a language barrier.)

Cidi: "We don't actually 'get together' until we have a . . . 'Clutch Union' I think would be the translation. I think you humans call it 'Getting Mortgage.'"

Mark Skarr 08-17-2007 05:02 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
This was actually just said here at work:

Ellen (To Cammy): "I've come to the conclusion that you and Ham are twins."
Cammy: "What? We looking nothing alike."
Ellen: "Camster and Hamster."
Me (ducking under desk)
Cammy: "Whatever, 'ET.'" (Ellen's last name begins with 'T' and she hates being called "ET")
Me: "You brought that on yourself."
Ellen: "Yeah, I'll go back to my desk and sit down."
Me: "I almost warned you, but if Cammy hadn't thought of it by then, she would have."
Ellen: "Oh, so you were doing that telepathy thing with her, then."
Me: "No, I have no telepathic powers. I'm telepathetic: I can be pathetic at a distance."
Cammy: "Yeah! And I don't have ESP, I have ESPN!"
Me: "It's like ESP, but a whole letter better!"

Rocket Man 08-19-2007 10:39 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Ran a horror game the other night in which the PCs got into a desperate battle in a dark basement. As the battle came to a close, the child prodigy of the group came to the top of the stairs, regarded the situation and said the immortal words:

"Um, guys, did anybody think to look for a light switch?"

Watching three hyper-capable players suddenly blink in stunned disbelief was worth the entire evening.

Sumner Kai 08-20-2007 04:34 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Player: "What do you mean I can't warp backwards?"

Same Player: "To Be, or Not to Be." when he is playing a Klingon. He has lost a Klingon Hero, a really cool K'Vort Bird of Prey, and a war with the Romulans on each respective night that he quoted Shakespeare....

GM: "You wake up..."

GM: "That is a touch spell. Who are you touching?"
Player: "I touch myself."
Rolling on the floor ensued...

Player: "I hide the diamonds!" (from his roommate)
GM: "Where? Roll vs. Perception"
Player roles...Six...Six...Six...
GM: "Hmph. Under your roomate's pillow it will be..."

Me: "Pick a bad number on a D6 and ROLL IT."

Bruno 08-26-2007 10:06 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quotable, from the game last night (all said out of character...)

Player1, reviewing his character sheet: "... since when has my character had 'a full beard and sweater-like chest hair'?"

Player2: "I don't know, when did you write your description?"

Player1, handing character sheet to Player2: "I didn't write this! Look, it isn't even my handwriting."

Player2 reads the character sheet.

Player2: "It's the same handwriting that wrote your size-modifier is 'Hairy'."

Player1: "It's WHAT?"

GM: "Sweater-like... are we talking a sweater-vest here, or right down to the wrists?"

whswhs 08-26-2007 11:22 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bruno
Quotable, from the game last night (all said out of character...)

Conversely, this was in character:

Blake, an Ishtar in a Transhuman Space setting, is feeling restless and unable to focus on her current case on a Friday evening. Her AI suggests that she might consider actually going out physically instead of just logging on; when she's receptive, the AI reminds her of The Lighthouse, a women's bar she visited a few sessions ago. Blake walks over there, sits down, and orders a drink.

One of the other women there comes over, sits down next to Blake, and makes social overtures. Blake gives a weird mixed reaction, partly flirtatious and partly hostile (the player made both the Sex Appeal and Intimidation rolls). The other woman says, "You look like you want to hurt somebody." When Blake nods, she asks, "Would you like to come home with me?"

Blake says, "Why?" (pause for several seconds) "Oh!"

All the other players spontaneously applauded the perfectly timed delivery. And after having her AI check the local S&M reputation networks, Blake accepted the invitation and found her first venture into that sort of recreation a success: she gave a convincing performance of ferocity but inflicted no serious damage.

Þorkell 08-26-2007 06:08 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
The setup is that we were playing a sword and sorcery game. The PCs were a Grey Mouser inspired Rogue (played by me) but who's not important in this since he had been turned into stone. A blind staff wielding guy and a Nordic fire elementalist. We had invaded an abandoned villa behind which we found a statue which had an appropriate aura of Evil and/or interesting. Anyway we faced a cyclops and a medusa. I short order the medusa turned me and the elementalist into stone and all that was left was the blind guy, who somehow whacked the medusa.

He then walks over to the elementalist and the blind PCs player asks:"Is he still rock hard and hot?"

The game resumed a few minutes later.

al_kenobi 08-26-2007 08:28 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by CaptainSkip
So many, this one was fun though...

Brawny warrior PC to freshly captured trollkin apprehended skulking around the party camp...

Heroic Warrior: All right own up. The Mad Sultan sent you here to kill us right?

Quaking trollkin: Oh no, kind sir we are but scouts!

Heroic Warrior: Butt Scouts? Hey guys we've captured the Mad Sultan's Butt Scouts!

And the puns, oh god don't get me started on the puns...

That's priceless!! I'm so glad I wasn't drinking anything.

al_kenobi 08-26-2007 08:56 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
One of my friends was making a saving throw in a D&D game a while back and the die rolled across the table and rested against a book at an angle.

Glen: Made it!

Me: But the die is cocked.

Glen: Yeah, but it's a good cock!

Play resumed several minutes later.

Blood Legend 08-28-2007 05:14 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Oh lord.....

al_kenobi 08-28-2007 07:37 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
We were playing Redneck Life a couple months ago and one of the players was rolling for her name.

April: How do you spell "Wynona"

Me: "W - Y - N - O - N - A *pause* M - O - U - S - E"

April: Okay, thanks!

At a game store in Houston a few years back, a friend was wanting to spell something but needed help.

Jennifer: How do you spell demogognus?

Glen: D - E - M - I - M - O - O - R - E.

Jennifer: Thank you!

Yes, both of them caught the joke after a minute or two.

Al

mechgogo 08-30-2007 06:45 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
PC in a Red Hand session after dumping a mess of Hobgoblins off a seige ladder "You guys were done with this right?" as they lift it up the wall.

Another group of Hobs after watching the PCs at the same battle torch a bunch of their friends "Oh SH##!" it's them!"

A PC in a Mutants in Masterminds game explaining the meaning of his handle "It's French for "Duck Dummy!" .

digoraccoon 08-31-2007 06:14 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
In a recent fantasy adventure, the players were traversing the 9 circles of Hell to reach an evil elemental being at the bottom that must be slain. The journey there was... surprisingly like wonderland.

Devil: "What are you people doing here? You're not even dead!"
PC Druid: "Uh... we're delivering ice water?"
Devil: "Really? Give it here!"
PC Druid: **Hands over the pitcher of water**
Devil: **Holds the pitcher over the pit of burning souls** "Hey, who wants a cold drink?"
PC Cleric: "That's mean even for Hell."


Though their paranoia is still working:

PC Rogue: "I check the stairs for traps."
GM: "No traps found."
PC Wizard: "Is it locked?"

al_kenobi 08-31-2007 10:45 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by digoraccoon
In a recent fantasy adventure, the players were traversing the 9 circles of Hell to reach an evil elemental being at the bottom that must be slain. The journey there was... surprisingly like wonderland.

Devil: "What are you people doing here? You're not even dead!"
PC Druid: "Uh... we're delivering ice water?"
Devil: "Really? Give it here!"
PC Druid: **Hands over the pitcher of water**
Devil: **Holds the pitcher over the pit of burning souls** "Hey, who wants a cold drink?"
PC Cleric: "That's mean even for Hell."

That's awesome!!

Blood Legend 08-31-2007 11:00 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by digoraccoon
Devil: "What are you people doing here? You're not even dead!"
PC Druid: "Uh... we're delivering ice water?"
Devil: "Really? Give it here!"
PC Druid: **Hands over the pitcher of water**
Devil: **Holds the pitcher over the pit of burning souls** "Hey, who wants a cold drink?"
PC Cleric: "That's mean even for Hell."

I know that when I stop giggling like a little girl, that I'm just going to start up again...why do I resist? Whats the point anymore...

Kiraogr 09-03-2007 01:37 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I remember one day we were gaming and one of the players was talking about a different gaming group he had been in and he said " then we were attacked by giant evil level draining squirrels, It was nuts!"
We all died laughing

vicky_molokh 09-10-2007 01:04 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote's from Saturday's game I took part in:

Fighter (with Decreased Time Rate at the moment): "He, has, probably, hidden himself." (Profound pause) "Aaand, died."
WH40K Sniper/Sneak: "Woops. Well, at least that leaves hope that he's not spoiled yet."

On a flat wasteland of a dead planet, outside a bunker.
Morph (mocking Aliens/2): "Game over man! Maybe we should start a bonfire and sing a song?"
Sniper: "Bonfire out of what?"
Dragonkin: "Songs out of what?"

Blood Legend 09-10-2007 10:51 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Molokh
On a flat wasteland of a dead planet, outside a bunker.
Morph (mocking Aliens/2): "Game over man! Maybe we should start a bonfire and sing a song?"
Sniper: "Bonfire out of what?"
Dragonkin: "Songs out of what?"

This is win and awesome.

From Me:
"I'm big enough of a man to take that randomly enough as an insult."

A Kiwaku stunt:
I cooked it.
You cooked it?
I cooked it.
Why'd you cook it?
I wanted it cooked.

Me again:
I have all these skills at all these levels but I'm only allowed to use them under these circumstances.
You're not my enemy.
You're not threatening anyone I know.
And its not a fair fight.
You'd totally get pwnd.
Here have this nuke, if you feel you're losing, detonate it.

jason taylor 09-11-2007 12:34 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Me and my dad used to have a running gag where you are surrounded by enemies. The one who is playing the character calls upon them to surrender. When it is refused, the one who is running the campaign makes the comment,"You admire their courage."

One time I was captain of an American frigate in the War of 1812. Me and a British frigate captain called upon each other to strike. Both of us refused. Then dad said, "You mutually admire each other's courage."

tHEhERETIC 09-11-2007 09:21 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
from Strategicon weekend before last.

"My Life with Master" I played a cook who could make anything taste good, except greens. Master demanded salad, but Master had the innkeeper's daughter in the dungeon. My cook went to the innkeeper and in her/my best creepy-little-girl voice, said,

"You will bring me the best salad evah, or your daughter becomes soup."

Better:
In Nomine Live I put all my player characters on an 18th-century brigantine, but took all the mortals from different periods in history. One character was an angel who was instructed to pretend he was a mental patient who was delusional i.e. thought he was the Marquis de Sade. So the early 18th century pirate talks to a few people and exclaims,
"The only person here who doesn't think I'm insane is the Marquis de Sade!"

vicky_molokh 09-25-2007 09:57 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Same dæmonspace campaign. Party is within a dystopian arcology.
Meleh (NPC, played by my GM, no relation to me): "Well, you need a place to live, because you have to sleep, and sleeping outdoors is an invitation for some cutthroat to quietly kill you for your possessions."
Dennis (Fighter): "Well, there's always the option of taking turns while sleeping."
'Robin Hood' (Dragonkin; true name unknown due to Compulsive Lying): "Fine. We'll go find a room and you take turns sleeping."
Dennis (Who has Alternate Form with Reciprocal Rest): "Okay, I'll always do that from now on."

Xenmas 09-25-2007 11:38 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Just found this thread, and where to begin >:)

GM: "Morning Comes"
Player: "Gah! Right in my eye!"

Player: "Can I have a parrot as a pet?"
GM: "No, you cannot have a Paragon as a pet."
Me: "Polly wants a SOUL"

While attempting to infiltrate a keep full of skeletons.
Player: "I can disguise myself as a woman."
GM: "I don't think the undead really care if you are male or female"
Player: "I could disguise myself as a skeleton."
GM, with a deep sigh: "That doesn't work either."

Mark Skarr 09-25-2007 01:19 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
NPC (Character’s Mother): *Screams*
Me: “Keep it down, I’m trying to sleep!”
NPC: Bursting into my bedroom, “Arin, are you alright!?”
Me: “No: you’re waking me up! I didn’t get to sleep until 8!”
NPC: “Your cheerleading outfit is covered with blood! What happened?”
Me: “Oh, that. That was just from triage.”
NPC: “What were you doing in triage!?”
Me: “Well, the SWAT team wouldn’t let me go back to the front.”
NPC: “The front of what?”
Me: “Another rift opened last night. The SWAT guys made me stay with the EMTs so I helped out with triage.”
NPC: “Why was the SWAT team there?”
Me: “Because of the zombies that came out of the rift.”
NPC: “THERE WERE ZOMBIES IN THE RIFT?!”
Me: “Yeah. And not slow, plodding zombies, more like Romero-zombies, they were fast-ish.”
NPC: “And you never thought to run away?!”
Me: “Mom, it really is okay. I mean: I was just helping the EMTs out in triage while the SWAT team was busy putting down zombies that crawled out of some otherworldly rift in the ground.”
NPC: “You are never leaving the house again, young lady!”

Dwarf99 09-27-2007 06:14 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Mark Skarr
NPC (Character’s Mother): *Screams*
Me: “Keep it down, I’m trying to sleep!”
NPC: Bursting into my bedroom, “Arin, are you alright!?”
Me: “No: you’re waking me up! I didn’t get to sleep until 8!”
NPC: “Your cheerleading outfit is covered with blood! What happened?”
Me: “Oh, that. That was just from triage.”
NPC: “What were you doing in triage!?”
Me: “Well, the SWAT team wouldn’t let me go back to the front.”
NPC: “The front of what?”
Me: “Another rift opened last night. The SWAT guys made me stay with the EMTs so I helped out with triage.”
NPC: “Why was the SWAT team there?”
Me: “Because of the zombies that came out of the rift.”
NPC: “THERE WERE ZOMBIES IN THE RIFT?!”
Me: “Yeah. And not slow, plodding zombies, more like Romero-zombies, they were fast-ish.”
NPC: “And you never thought to run away?!”
Me: “Mom, it really is okay. I mean: I was just helping the EMTs out in triage while the SWAT team was busy putting down zombies that crawled out of some otherworldly rift in the ground.”
NPC: “You are never leaving the house again, young lady!”

That s___ is funny!

you have all been talking about things your players have said I actually have something that was said by someone who was not even in the game.

I had a GM that had his own style of game based off of an amalgamation of the various final fantasy games at the time. all the 4 main characters had "limit break" abilities which the GM would describe in awesome detail. while we were playing in the rec room of an apartment complex at one point he was describing just such an event. In the middle of the event someone who was walking by just stopped, waited until the event was over and when it was the description was so awesome that they dropped their jaw and said:

OOOOOOOH S___!

from that point forward everything really awesome has been an OH S___ moment

peruses 09-27-2007 07:29 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
so my character tonight opens his bgas to discover a few aditional items were placed there including a live chicken who woke from stasis when the bag was opened he say's "I'll keep the thong and the whipped cream but I'm not chasing after the chicken

Xenmas 09-28-2007 09:25 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
When playing a half elven, incredibly childish mage I was traveling with a female thief that had decided (Behind a long story) to cut her hair and begin to dress like a man (a disguise). When my character saw her for the first time, the following occurred:

GM: "You see Mirror walking down the street"
Thief: "I try to get her attention"
GM: "How do you do this?"
Thief: "I wave my hands around and call to her"
GM: "Okay. Mirror, there is some guy screaming, flailing his arms, and running toward you."
Me: "I cast Charm Person"

Rolling dice, saving throw failed

Thief: "Mirror, it's me"
Me: "What happened to your hair?"
Thief: "I cut it. What was that spell you just cast?"
Me: "Oh. It was, uh, a protective spell. This city is dangerous. I decided to cast a spell on you so that nothing can hurt you."
Thief: "Why thank, Mirror"

Later in the game the thief is captured by the head of the assassins guild

Thief: "You can't hurt me. My best friend, Mirror, cast a protective spell on me"
Assassin: "O'Rlly. Show me."

Battle ensues. The funny part about it was that the PC kept rolling critical hits, and the GM kept rolling 1. After severely thrashing a character 5 levels higher than her, she was instructed that she could make no more saves against the Charm spell until she was injured in combat.

Ed the Coastie 09-28-2007 01:23 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I've posted this before elsewhere, but it's still kind of funny...

Several years ago, a good friend of mine was running a sword-and-sorcery LARP for a bunch of newbies and invited me to accompany them in order to give them a bit of heavy-duty magical assistance if need be. (I play a magic-user.) For all that they had obviously based their LARP characters on their favorite RPG characters, they were doing a good job; I spent much of the adventure just hanging back, enjoying the walk casting the occasional spell.

Eventually we came to the climactic battle, in which we had to fight our way past a horde of zombies. In order to simulate the seemingly-endless number of zombies, each zombie NPC would, upon being killed, rotate back to the rear of the pack. They would do this a total of six times each. Each zombie was individually rather easy to kill...but there were effectively something like 60 of them.

The newbies were in fine form, but this was why I had been brought along. I threw spell after spell until I ran out of mana, then drew a pair of shortswords and waded into the fray.

Just as the battle was wrapping up, we heard a thin voice call "Hold!" Everyone stopped what they were doing and looked around, wondering who had been hurt.

One of the newbie PCs stepped forward and pointed at me. He was a scrawny barbarian clad only in a fake-fur diaper and a plastic horned helmet that kept slipping down over his thick-lensed glasses. "Cairo's cheating!"

The referee looked at me, then back at the barbarian. "How do you mean?"

"He's fighting with swords. Everybody knows that magic-users can't use swords! He's supposed to have a staff, just like Arcanus here." He indicated one of his buddies, who was indeed playing a magic-user.

There was silence for a moment, before the referee replied, "Dude...this isn't D&D..."

Mark Skarr 09-28-2007 01:26 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Asgard: "Finally, we found her."
Mathew: "Ariel, it's good to see you're okay."
Ariel (Me): "Where the h**l am I, Mathew? And who's that?"
Mathew: "That's Asgard, Morpheous decided you needed more protection."
Ariel: "Who? Who did you say?"
Mathew: (looks trapped) "Uh . . . no one."
Ariel: "Morpheous? Was that the name? Whose Morpheous?"
Mathew: "Uh, no one."
Ariel: "Spill it!"
Mathew: "Well, he's just this guy . . ." (under his breath) "who might be the King of Dreams."
Ariel: "KING OF DREAMS?"
Asgard: "Good going."
Mathew: "Yeah. I guess."
Ariel: "Why does the King of Dreams care about me?"
Mathew: "That doesn't matter, what matters is we found you."
Ariel: "Where am I?"
Asgard: "The ***-end of the dreamrealm."
Ariel: "Is that why it looks like such a dump? Why hasn't anyone fixed it? Like this?"
Me (ooc to GM): I'll revitalized the land, make it all green and idyllic. Kinda like the first level of Overlord where it's all pretty and peaceful and there are all those sheep bounding around that your minions jump onto and beat over the head until they die.
MonkeyFist (GM): **GNURGH!** (Grips his head.) "Oh! We're done!" (Wanders off to the bathroom)
Other players look around at each other, quizzically. I'm asking, out loud "What'd I do?"
MF (after his return): "The next problem was going to be a group of beastmen . . . the Warhammer kind?"
Me (only other player to play Warhammer): "Oh, I'm sorry."
MF (to rest of group): "They're sheep."
MF: "Yeah, the Baaaaa-barian Menace!

NeverCool 09-28-2007 02:08 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
One of the classics:

Player1: "My mage casts Invisibility on himself and run into the castle"
Player2: "When he reaches the castle gate, I distract the guards"
Player1: "When I reach the gate? I'm invisible!"

Bruno 09-30-2007 08:09 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
From yesterdays pre-session for my supers game.

P1 (playing a gadgeteer): I take a coconut, a rock, and (digs around in his pocket) this plasma inducer, and I put them together, and voilla! Fusion grenade!
P2: The coconut is for flavor!

vicky_molokh 09-30-2007 08:37 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Same campaign:

GM (sleepy): "Wait, you didn't tell me you had to walk away to stay where you are? . ."


Sniper's player, not wanting to pay for her meal at a bar, trying to sneak away: "I'm entering the infiltration!"


Sniper: rolls 18 on a pistol shot. Same roll occurred two sessions ago while she was buffed by my PC.
Me: How could I ever waste my Visualization Blessing on her!?
Sniper's player: That's because your PC angered her gods of war by his herecy!

peruses 10-02-2007 05:20 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
from last sesion (IOU)

on finding some items added to his baggage by the airport the rougish type says
"fine I'll keep the thong and the whipped cream but I;m not chasing after the chicken"

Kiraogr 10-03-2007 03:45 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
we were all sitting around waiting on our DM and one of our player was talking about an old game he used to play in.
"we were fighting giant undead vampiric level draining squirrels. It was nuts!"
We all died laughing

Kirby 10-03-2007 04:22 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I ran a pulp game in which one of the characters was Doc Rocket, The World's First Superhero, who, with his trusty jetpack and raygun, had been adventuring since about 1865 and was 70 when the game started. He was prone to telling rambling-old-geezer stories about his adventures, often in a sort of background monologue while the other characters were doing something entirely unrelated. The player was good at nonsensical improvisation of adventures. At some point the other characters were occupied, and the Doc was rambling, and he said

"And then there was the time I had to wrestle a hippo! You know how to wrestle a hippo, don't you?"

Well, naturally, nobody did, but it was interesting, so we all stopped what we were doing and turned to face the player. I genuinely think he hadn't had anything planned to follow up the first line, but he improvised, without missing a beat:

"You grab him by the ears... and you flip him!"

Beautiful, and in the ensuing decade or so it has become a catchphrase in my group.

--K

al_kenobi 10-05-2007 11:49 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
I was in an all night GURPS Traveller game at a con a while back and was going through the pre-gen characters. There was the usual assortment of combat gumbies, techies, and such, but the one that caught my eye was a medic with the quirk - tells irrelavent stories. I decided to play him.

Throughout the game, I went off on these tangents and the other players, who apparently didn't look at the quirks, were giving me looks like I was brain damaged. It was one of the best games I've played in.

At one point in the game, we were talking to some people on a space station and we heard growling in the background and the guy on the station said that there were vicious dog-like creatures on board and I started talking about a "purty yeller dog" that I had, but "he got sick, so I had to put him down."

Good times...

Crakkerjakk 10-06-2007 02:19 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Blatantly stealing this from the Transformers movie, because I know it'll be used by someone in my group within the next week.


PC is holding self important hostage.

Self-important hostage begins to threaten PC with dire consequences if he doesn't let him go.... "I'm going to count to five-"

PC pushes barrel of firearm into self-important hostage's chest, "I'm going to count to three!"

Priceless.

BLloyd607502 10-07-2007 09:08 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
We were playing a roleplay based in the age of Pirates.
My brother was playing a insane, almost immortal, sucidal cannoneer.
During a ship to ship battle he fell over board, he climbed back onto the ship soaking wet, heres how the conversation after went (Note: player 1 was female)-

Bro- I'm soaking wet!
Player 1 - Well what do you want us to do about it?
Bro- Pass me a towel.
Player 1 - We don't have one.
Bro- Well then dry me out.
Player 1- How?
Bro- *thinks for a second* Blow me.

vicky_molokh 10-07-2007 10:00 AM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Was the character female too?

BLloyd607502 10-07-2007 02:18 PM

Re: Memorable Quotes.
 
Yes. Female werewolf, she was in werewolf form as well at the time.
Another one of his
GM: You sail slowly into the harbour, dock and pay the shipping fees, what do you do
Me: Go look for some supplys for the ship
Player 1: go get some gun powder
Player 2: Go find some more NPC's to keep the ship running.
Players 3, 4 and 5: Go to the tavern to look for our next job.
Bro: Go to the bordello.
*Everyone looks at him*
Bro:...What?


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